In case you didn't know by now, I'm haggy af. I'm a girl's girl. I'm keeping Andy Cohen paid by watching too much Bravo. My only male friends are gay. Though most days I can't be bothered to wear a proper beat or pants (I got a man. I'm retired), I can spend an inordinate amount of time at Sephora. And, like any girl, I love Mean Girls.
I feel that Mean Girls is often diminished by the widespread appeal that it has to the average Victoria Secret bag-toting queen bee or wannabe, but it's not your average girly movie. It's incredibly smart and funny, just like it's writer, my hero, Tina Fey. Thank baby Jesus for Netflix, because I come back to Mean Girls every Christmas. I somehow qualify Mean Girls as a holiday movie b/c there are all of two glorious Christmas-centric scenes i.e. the Christmas pageant and the Candy Cane-grams manipulation of Gretchen Weiners. Anyway, Mean Girls always fills me with *holiday cheer*. I hope this cocoa brings you some comfort and joy as well :)
YOU GO GLEN HOT COCOA
5 oz dark chocolate
2 oz milk chocolate
4 tablespoons cocoa powder
4 cups whole milk
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
In a medium saucepan, whisk together chocolates, cocoa powder, brown sugar, and half of the milk over low heat. Whisk until the chocolate is melted. Stir in the rest of the milk and salt. Heat through. Serve, preferably with Mean Girls-themed marshmallows.
CANDY CANE MARSHMALLOW GRAMS
adapted from The Kitchn
makes 16 big fluffy marshmallow squares
3 tablespoons gelatin powder
1/2 cup cold water
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/2 tablespoon peppermint extract
3/4 cup water
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 1/4 cup corn syrup
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 drop of red food coloring (goes a long way)
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup cornstarch
edible ink pen (Can be found at craft stores, Joann's/Michael's)
Spray an 8 x 8-inch baking dish with cooking spray, making sure to coat all of the sides.
Fit a stand mixer with a whisk attachment.
Place the gelatin, cold water, and extracts in the bowl of the mixer. Stir gently with a fork until there are no more lumps.
Pour 3/4 cup of water into a 4-quart saucepan. Pour the sugar, corn syrup and salt on top. Do not stir.
Place the saucepan over medium-high heat. Cover with a lid for the first 2 minutes to wash down any sugar crystals from the sides. Bring to a boil.
Boil the syrup to 247 to 250 degrees Fahrenheit. Once it does, remove from heat.
Turn your mixer on medium speed. Carefully pour the hot sugar down the side of the bowl, avoiding the whisk. Add the red food coloring.
Cover the mixer with a kitchen towel, and increase the speed to high. Whip for a full 10 minutes. By then, the mixture should look like soft-serve ice cream.
With the mixer running on medium, slowly lower the mixing bowl away from the whisk (or lift your whisk away from the bowl, depending on the model of your mixer). Using a stiff spatula, immediately transfer as much marshmallow as you can to the prepared baking dish.
Spray your hands with cooking spray and use them to evenly spread the mixture into the dish.
Let the marshmallow cure for 6 to 24 hours.
Mix the powdered sugar and cornstarch in a medium bowl. Coat a work surface with some of the powdered sugar mixture. Using your hands, and butter knife if needed, turn out the marshmallow from the pan onto the coated work surface. Using a sharp knife, cut into 16 equal squares. Coat all of the marshmallow's surfaces with the powdered sugar.
Use an edible ink pen to transcribe the desired holiday message to your favorite bestie, frenemy, sexually active band geek, or cool Asian! ^_~